Endings

      

Here it is. I've made it to the end of the month. The ending of one journey and the beginning of the next. It's perhaps one could argue the best place to be in life. If you look at the interpretation of tarot cards, the final one in the major arcana is "the world" and the whole of the major arcana is supposed to represent a journey of some sort, beginning with the fool and ending with the world, which is why I used the image in this blog post as I feel it to be quite fitting given this represents the end of one journey and the beginning of the next. 

The hero's journey as highlighted by Joseph Campbell is the sort of base for the monomyth which shows up all over human societies and cultures independently. The journey of the tarot cards major arcana is kind of like this. Personally I'm not very much a Jospeh Campbell fan but he does have some interesting ideas. This blog has been a sort of journey, both as a lesson in being disciplined in doing something consistently everyday as well as exploring different aspects of my own personal belief system and ideas. I've gone through a lot of changes in just the month since I started writing this blog. I traveled to an insane adventure in Nevada, then to New York, and then back to SF. 

The end of this month will include some goodbyes to some close friends I've made in SF who are going elsewhere, and the meeting of some old ones for my birthday. It really does seem like the season finale in a sense for this chapter of my life, but its nonsense to compare ones life to a TV show. Reality is written by no one, can be absurd as it wants and the ride never ends. 

 

 

 

 

I will write at least one more blog post the beginning of next month but after that I don't know what I'm going to do, it might go on indefinite hiatus or I might still write from time to time but I don't think I want to consistently keep up writing every single day on this blog as I have other projects to attend to as well. My next writing project will probably be my autobiography, I feel like my story needs to be told as so far it has been rather ridiculous and unique and I think some people might find it interesting.

 I don't know what else to write about in this last blog post of the month. Apparently researchers were able to create a wormhole using a quantum computer recently? That's pretty cool news to look into. A bit open to interpretation but I think it highlights an interesting fact about developing technologies: Sometimes unexpected phenomena that prove to be super useful can be discovered from some technology developed for a specific application that has absolutely nothing to do with its original use-case application. 

The more money we throw into just pure research for the sake of research the more potentially new crazy shit we might discover that might completely transform the world. Research for purely the sake of research is worth it. The thrill of finding out something new is such an incredible adrenaline rush and flow of excitement, it is most certainly worth it. Our society currently is not structured this way, and it should be as it would benefit everyone. I think there is something, almost sacred to the pursuit of knowledge and understanding of the universe.

Anyways, I'd like to share a poem I wrote recently.   

 

In the night we shall go in

to steal

a flowering branch

We shall climb over the wall

in the darkness of a

private garden

No tickets, just luck

and wild youth

two shadows in the shadow

Winter is not yet gone

crashing on stimulants

LED lights by the lake

suddenly everything has changed

into a cascade of

fragrant stars

In the night we shall go in

up to its trembling firmament

and your little hands and mine

will

steal the stars

sometimes, we confuse the dream for one another

we're screaming to be closer to infinity

To love everlasting

Silently then,

to your house

in the night and the shadow

with your steps will enter

perfumes silent step

and with starry feet

the clear body of spring

It's the curse of losing yourself

When your other is a mirror

and it takes you too far

because we are more than our disguises

We are more than just the pain

And I'm standing here laughing at my shame

Stay by your side in sweetness

until the

digital leaves of violins have become silent, until the moss

takes root in the thunder,

until from the throbbing of

hand and hand the

roots come down

and again I'm left

stranded

 

 

 Endings can be hard. Since they are an inevitable part of life its important to be able to adapt to them correctly. Knowing the deadline of when something will end I would say is in some ways better than something being unexpectedly ripped away from you. You can prepare for it and decide how to approach this phase in life, but always knowing something will end and when means maybe you can never be fully present with it as it is, because the ending will always be in the back of your mind. Not knowing an ending, (I guess we all strive for the eternal in some ways) even if its unexpected might also mean being able to be present more, I don't know. 

 

 In any case, learning to let go has been a lesson I am still trying to learn, but maybe there is hope in that what you let go was meant to be let go, and if it was truly meant to be a part of your life then it will come back somehow. This maybe assumes some grand order of the universe which I don't think exists perhaps but maybe just believing in this is enough comfort. 

 

I think more than almost any other experience (besides maybe the thrill of discovery) I enjoy the feeling of something coming back to you after it has completely disappeared and gone away far outside of your control. Phones, jewelry, wallets, people who you thought you'd never see again or be close to again, sometimes it takes distance and absence to make us realize the true weight something has in our lives. The flip side of this then is being able to create new from the ashes of the old, find something to fill the gaps something or someone else has left in our lives. To reference an earlier blog post, we hope that when a wooden door closes shut that an iron one will open.

 

Thank you all for reading my blog so far, I'll see you in the next one and may peace be with you.