Endings

 I had a dream last night that I ran into my college ex girlfriend. We talked amicably and then I cut off all my hair. I looked in the mirror and didn't like how I looked. I have very long hair right now that's blue and kind of changes color on its own but I have thought about cutting it off sometimes. I'm visiting New York in the middle of this month and I might do that depending on how the trip goes. At the end of the dream there was an alien spacecraft flying over the San Francisco skyline emitting a loud hum, it dropped something and then I woke up. 

There are so many ways to interpret dreams, particularly this one. Dreaming of my college ex probably means subconsciously I'm looking for closure on that relationship, something which I never feel like I really got. I've kind of shut the door on that relationship for good, it ended badly and they did some shitty things to me that took me awhile to heal from. I don't expect to talk to them ever again but closure is always nice if we're lucky enough to get it. 

Cutting off my hair probably symbolizes some great change I'm going through, some transitory period in a sense. There are other ways to look at it too, seeing changes I might have to make in the future and not liking them. 

 The UFO in my dream is a bit more nebulous and open to interpretation. It could mean exploring a deeper inner part of myself, some part of myself that's alien. It could also represent new beginnings. It dropping something, might mean a sudden shift in my life but honestly I don't know what that could symbolically represent. 

 Of the prevalent themes in each of these symbolic dream artifacts two that are repeated is closure and change. I suppose I am going through a transitory period of my life, but when haven't I? I feel like I've just been on a dramatic roller coaster of  changes since the middle of last year that hasn't fully stopped yet. I don't know when it will, maybe there are sudden dramatic upheavals that are about to occur in my life that I'm expecting. I feel like this is the case to a large extent. 

Dreams are a strange and unexplored part of our lived experience. There are certainly connections between my waking life and the dreams I've had in the past, pretty dramatic ones at that. I've had dreams that seem to symbolically represent major events in my life before they've happened, maybe a part of my mind subconsciously knows more than my conscious mind is aware of. 

Well, I hope whatever changes I'm about to go through or am going through lead somewhere happy and good. I'm ready for the good times, I've been stuck in the bad times for long enough. There are certainly things to be grateful for but I feel like I haven't reached homeostasis yet, I've been on the struggle bus for awhile now and I need to change my itinerary.