overwhelm

 

Fuck, I don't know what to do with my life right now. I think the problem is I have so many directions to go in, but only time to dedicate to one direction right now and no guarantee for any of them. I know I need money right now, but also I don't want to get pigeonholed into a shitty dead end job that I hate. 

Why do I exist? Whats the point of my existence? Who cares, unfortunately I still exist and I need to deal with that and figure out how to live as a broken person in a broken world. 

Where do I go? I feel stuck. How do I live? I feel dead inside. Who do I love? Love doesn't exist. Who am I? What do I want?We create ourselves. I have placeholders for who I am and what I want but I also have to match my expectations with reality. A lot is going to change in our lives, the static becomes diffuse and the form takes shape. 

Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.

 

just kidding that's all buddhist nonsense and their probably full of shit just like everybody else. Does that statement even mean anything of consequence? "blue is color, color is blue" ok. such wisdom, very wow

 

anyways here's a poem

 

 

 

OVERWHELM

The multicolored span
LED lights flickering in staccato
Music impressed on the neocortex
Brilliantly undulating patterns
Knowledge in its myriad forms
The next step in the cultural evolutionary plan

But there is no plan, just noise
We are all bathing in it
Pure crystalline static beating our eyes and ears senseless
Creatures of information awash in its glow
Drink too little and get left behind
Too much and it destroys

If you could hook your brain into information overload
Of losing your sense of self in the sea
Neverending voices of the internet
Creatures of pure information waiting for the next download
Just waiting to become chunks of code

To bite into the apple, to become a series of bytes
If the human becomes machine
Does the machine become human?
Existential dread consuming
Dreading the next of many big frights

Can’t we see a light at the end of it all?
Is it a train coming to hit us?
Or a way forward into the light?
We need AR glasses to see maybe
What next do we need to install
Arise! The future beckons before us!
No more loitering in dark cramped subway stalls
Listening to the dripping of old rainwater on concrete
The smell of the excess of the world dropped in its gutters
We only go forward, no more to discuss

Of all the worlds possible, ours is not the best
Or the worst
We keep on going, not forward not back or even sideways
Just going
We just keep going
A better world is out there
For if we pass the next test