waffle house

 

My first time dining in a waffle house was a sacred magical experience. Why spend $16,000 dollars on a wellness meditation chakra alignment retreat when for $4.50 you could have a seat next to a schizophrenic truck driver who knows all the secrets to god in the middle of rural Tennessee bum fuck nowhere? Why waste hundreds of dollars on an ayahuasca ceremony with a bunch of yuppies when you COULD experience a transcendent out of body astral projection as the dreadlocked waitress named "crystal" hands you your plate of hash browns and tells you about her new hippy commune run by some guy named "starchild" with a beard as long as his knees?

Anyways ya that's been MY first experience at waffle house at least